with Relationship Speaker/Author/Coach...
15 Hot Ideas for
Phenomenal Physical Intimacy!
1. Become a couple with unwavering commitment to doing whatever
it takes to make your overall relationship work. Remember, problems always show up in the
bedroom. If you want great sex, never deny your partner the attention necessary
to let them know they are loved, appreciated and respected. Relationships are
something that must be worked on ALL THE TIME, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed.
2. Have a passion for life's sexual journey and for the
processes required to go from boring to bliss in the bedroom. Be creative with your passion. Direct
it toward your partner. Nurture it. Enjoy and revel in it.
3. Become dedicated to mutual pleasure for both you and
your love partner. Sex is fun and pleasure is good for you!
4. Learn to be intentionally spontaneous and open for
the opportunity to make love when it presents itself; during a lunch break, in the back seat of your car
or by arousing your partner from a deep sleep in the middle of the night.
5. Perfect the ability to communicate openly and honestly
your most secret sexual desires and needs. Be responsible for your own sexual pleasure by asking
for what you need or taking care of yourself.
6. Be willing to be a student of great sex; read about it,
study it, practice it.
7. Be mature enough to exercise the discipline to stay in
the moment when being sexually intimate. Never allow the cares of the day to distract you. Focus on
giving pleasure to each other.
8. Be daring. . . experiment. Do things differently,
try new positions, new places, love toys and more, in agreement with both partners, of course.
Variety is the spice of a healthy sexual relationship. Be creative! To always make love the
same old way is, in a word, BORING!!
9. Pay attention to personal hygiene. The first rule
of making love is to present a body that is tastefully clean!
10. Cultivate the generosity to consider your love
partner's pleasure before your own, or the esprit de corps to decide whether you or your partner goes
first or whether you reach orgasm together.
11. Have the keenness of mind to recognize the value of
making love vs. only having sex. A "quickie" now and then is okay, however to only and always depend
upon quickies for your sexual gratification is a form of "taking your partner for
granted" and can only lead to resentment. Make time for the time that is needed to "make love."
12. Synthesize the gusto to be energetic when making
love and aware of the sensitivity it takes to passionately lay motionless together after engaging in
sex. Enjoy foreplay, engagement and afterglow.
13. Be courageous enough to not always take yourselves
so seriously; to laugh, to play and be playful and to experience whatever is sexually exciting and enjoyable.
14. Learn to negotiate win/win agreements and promises
about how you will mutually care for your partner's needs in the sexual arena.
15. Ask for the variety of pleasure you want and deserve.
However, to force or coerce your partner to do something they do not want to do breeds discontent and
is highly disrespectful. In this scenario, always take "No!" for the answer. Never be afraid to ask for what you want and
always demonstrate the respect to honor your lover's right to say no without consequence.
Practice including the keywords that are in bold in
your sexual vocabulary with your partner and watch what happens!
Copyright © - Larry James.
Adapted from the book, "Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers."
If you would like to talk
one-on-one with Larry James about relationship issues related to this article, you are invited to arrange for a
private coaching session by telephone. Go to Personal Relationship Coaching
for specific details.