with Relationship Speaker/Author/Coach...
Larry James
A Ceremony for "Letting Go!"
To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven - a time to break down, a time
to build up. . . a time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to keep, and a time to cast away. - Ecclesiastes
This ceremony is specifically for couples who have decided to move on with their separate lives
with grace and style. It is appropriate for relationship break-ups and divorces. It focuses on
moving apart with clarity, good will for the other, and more.
A couple going through a break-up or divorce can honor each other even in the midst of crisis. While
some may find this option inconceivable, remember, those who can put aside their differences and send each
other on their way with elegance, class, style and little bit of flair, will find it much easier to find
closure.
Breaking up is hard to do and. . . it doesn't have to get nasty. That is only and always up to
both partners.
Ever wondered why so many second marriages come apart so early on in the relationship? Perhaps it may
be because both partners have not released the past to make way for the future.
This ceremony is a very personal one. It will help to erase the stigma of a relationship breakup or
divorce from our hearts; to help ease the pain of devastation, guilt, and failure; to create an opening for
breakthroughs of awareness that can mend a broken heart, bless the past and help you move forward.
The setting, content, wording, style, everything is decided by
those for whom the ceremony is held with the assistance of Larry James.
This "Letting Go" ceremony signifies each partner's willingness to:
- Honor the truth that your partnership or marriage can no longer continue
- Bless the past
- Accept responsibility for your share of the problems that caused the breakup
- Release each from their marriage vows
- Be fair and kind to one another
- Acknowlege both the anger they may feel toward their partner for past behaviors as well as
the sadness that comes with having lost a shared dream to be together
- Support each other
- Never belittle each other or old friends or to the children
- Help the children to understand that mommy and daddy had agreed not to live together;
they are not being abandoned, that this breakup or divorce is not their fault, and their love for
the children is strong and will never end
- Recommitment for continued loving parenting of the children
- Honor and treasure the shared memories made through the years
- Not be vindictive or allow the separation or divorce to be nasty
- Continue to communicate effectively if their are children
- Recognize the opportunity for growth in crisis and to acknowledge that out of chaos can come order and balance
- Publicly forgive each other for past mistakes
- Let go of each other, old habits, old beliefs and old hehaviors
- Express gratitude for the time shared together and good wishes for the other
- Honor and respect each other in your separate and independent lives
- Go gently and with a caring spirit, with grace, honor and respect
- Begin again alone
What about the children? - They suffer the pain of a changing relationship too.
It is a fact that most of the damage children experience during
divorce comes when parents continue to fight afterwards. It doesn't have to be this way.
Often couples include their children as witnesses in a "Letting Go"
ceremony; to use it as an opportunity to make a formal commitment aloud that they will always be parents to
their children no matter how they feel about each other and even though apart, they will always love them.
Relationships never end. Death, divorce or separation does not end a relationship, it only changes it.
A "Letting Go" ceremony is not a legal ceremony, however it is - in a sense - a spiritual way for couples to complete
their relationship with forgiveness and healing.
Separation or divorce is a "wake-up" call. It can be an adventure when it is the outward
expression of love characterized by compassion and the courage to let go. It takes no strength
to let go. . . only courage. Broken hearts can heal.
This very imaginative ceremony and public declaration of continued respect for each other in the company
of friends can encourage harmonious cooperation in spite of acknowledged differences, to publicly
release each other from your promises to be a loyal and faithful partner, a sense of peace
and speed up the healing process.
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