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While it is an honor for a bride to ask you to be the Maid (or Matron) of Honor, you would be wise to consider the many awesome responsibilities that go with this honor. Some brides will automatically think of their very best friend for this privilege. Perhaps a better reason would be to choose the person who is willing to do all the things that are necessary to cater to the Bride's every whim, serving with distinction.
As Maid of Honor the Bride's chief attendant and personal confidante - you have to keep things organized and under control as well as being her "crisis counselor." Maids of Honor are chosen for their emotional stability and composure. You will offer moral support and assist with virtually every aspect of the pre-wedding planning all the way to the end of the wedding. Part of your job is to make the entire process as stress-free as possible.
You will be expected to give her your full attention on the day of the wedding and be ready to handle anything that comes up.
Once you have been asked to serve, have a meeting with the Bride and ask her to define what she expects from you. The key is to "ask." Be clear about what she expects and be honest with her if you do not think you can live up to her expectations. When necessary, step in and take control of any stressful situations. Anticipate any needs the Bride may have and take care of them in a positive manner.
Once you accept the honor, try not to ask too many questions unless it is about something very important. This only adds to her frustration level. The Bride is counting you to take care of pretty much everything. Be a shoulder she can lean on when things become to overwhelming to bear. This can take a lot of time, energy and requires lots of preparation. Be cool, but never outshine the Bride.
You will act as a liaison between the Bride and the Bridesmaids from the beginning through the reception. You need to set the tone among the women in the bridal party. Prep the Bridesmaids and make sure they know their duties and show up "on time" for the rehearsal. Think of yourself as a coach. You are in charge of the Bridesmaids and with their cooperation the wedding will run more smoothly.
Bring tissues, extra makeup, pantyhose, nail polish, breath mints and anything else that she might need the day of the wedding. Put together an "Emergency Checklist" to make sure to avoid any crisis that might come up. Prepare a "beauty bag" (emergency pouch) to bring with you on the big day. Hold her flowers, straighten her veil and train before, during and after the wedding and especially during the wedding pictures.
One of the most important traditions of a Maid or Matron of Honor is to give the Bride a Toast at the reception. The best toasts include funny stories growing up with sentimental friendship and love. Don't get too wordy. Keep it short and interesting. Offer a few words of advice to both the bride and groom and best wishes you have for the newlyweds (e.g., success, happiness, many babies). If you are a person who does not like to speak in front of others, make sure to rehearse and bring a hard copy of your wedding toast.
Tips for the Toast
Here are a few Wedding Toast ideas that may be helpful to you when writing your speech
The Maid of Honor's duties may be as many or as varied as the bride may wish to impose upon her, but typically, the Maid of Honor is responsible for:
What are the duties of a Maid of Honor? We went to the ultimate source to find a comprehensive answer for you. Emily's Post's Wedding Etiquette lists the following responsibilities for the Maid of Honor:
While the maid of honor isn't required to host the bridal shower, Emily Post notes that the family of the bride is not to do it. This generally leaves the attendants (of which the maid of honor is the head attendant) to throw the shower. It is suggested that the maid of honor co-host the bridal shower. The maid of honor hosts most bachelorette parties.
And finally, serve with distinction! If other commitments prevent you from giving the Bride the attention she deserves, you may be a better candidate for a Bridesmaid.
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